BROKEN? WE FIX IT. NO MEETINGS. NO BS.

Because talk is cheap. Every agency sends cold emails saying "we can make your website better." I figured: why not just show you?

If you like it, great. If you don't, I've still practiced my craft and moved on — lucky I didn't waste my time coding the bloody thing!

Either way, no skin off your nose, and I've got a portfolio piece — but I'll probably put it into the "deleted" folder anyway, and cry myself to sleep. No hard feelings.

Nah mate. I'm a legit Melbourne (Australia) based operator — this is my ABN: 13 397 539 044. Underdog Digital is the business name. I'm a real bloke doing this all solo, not some overseas rando.

I've worked for Aussie corporates and businesses, so I know how much they fuck around.

You've already seen the design for free — if you hate it, walk away (or click away). No invoice, no guilt trip. The upfront design work is on me. You only pay if you want it built. How's that for fair dinkum?

Yeah, we know — we're here to fix it. Most people host shitty websites on shitty hosts. Hell, most Aussie businesses won't even be hosting in Australia (and you wonder why you're getting no leads). We fix this. Forget the hassle, let us sort it for you.

No more dicking around with hosting and tech. Simply pay us $29 a month to host your fucking awesome website in Australia. 100% uptime, lightning fast, no thoughts, no worries. Just a 24/7 365 lead machine.

Host with us for 24 months (2 years for the slow ones) and we'll give you a totally new website redesign for free. Can't say fairer than that!

No catch. The design's already done (you've seen it), so I'm not charging for that part. Obviously I'll remove the watermark and code it up for you (the hard part) with clean code, that search engines love. The $500 covers coding, hosting setup, security, my time spent designing it (sure, this was a gamble but I hope you love it) and getting you live.

To put it in perspective: a high-quality design alone you're looking at $1,500+, then coding on top of that is even more. This is a total refresh — modern update, all the latest bells and whistles — for $500. I've cut out all the wankery — no account managers, no "creative directors" billing $200/hour. Just one person who builds websites and wants to build more of them.

We also offer hosting. Most of the time your site is down due to the bullshit shoddy cheap hosting. No point in having a great website if it's not live. We use bulletproof, enterprise-grade hosting based in Australia, where your customers are — your site will always stay up and always be live. It's just an extra $29 a month for this.

Oh, and after 24 months (2 years) with us, we'll give you a free redesign. Completely free. But you must have been with us for the full 24 months on hosting.

Sweet as. But let's not go crazy — this can be a slippery slope.

One round of changes is included in the $500, as I've built it off the cuff — however, it's best you probably keep it as-is. This is more for text and content, or any critical elements I may have missed.

Let's not add photos of your dog — your clients don't care. Want to tweak colours, swap photos? Okay, but keep it to essentials. Want to adjust the layout? Probably not ideal. I've designed the site to convert.

Major overhauls might cost extra, but don't worry — I'll be upfront about that before I start coding it. Once you've paid, you'll get a form to fill out explaining what you need. No surprises.

Don't worry if it's not possible — you'll get a full refund, but let's not have 101 meetings about it. In fact, let's not have any.

I've done this for long enough to know... Meetings suck, and most clients get in their own way... it's like you telling me how to lay a tile. I'm not a tiler — and you're not a web designer.

100%. Once you pay, it's yours. All the code, all the assets, everything.

I strongly recommend hosting with us for $29/month — that way your site stays up, stays fast, and stays secure. But if you want to take it elsewhere because I annoy you, crack on. I'll hand over everything and wish you well (and maybe shed a single tear).

No lock-ins, no proprietary nonsense. It's your business, it's your site.

Hit the big green button. Pay the $500. Fill out the quick form with any details you want changed (easy tiger, don't put "build Spotify").

I start coding. Most clients never even hear my voice (well, outside of the video) — everything happens over email. Preferably 1 or 2 emails MAX.

Websites are not rocket science. If that's what you want, go join NASA — I hear they're hiring and the coffee's probably better than mine.

Introverts, rejoice. You'll have an awesome one-page site live and driving leads to your business in 7 days.

Nope. But thanks for the vote of confidence in my design skills!!!

Your website design is all custom. Designed by me, not some random overseas operator calling you "Dear", and who thinks AFL is rugby (shhh Queenslanders). I'm just a Melbourne bloke trying to fund my next smashed avo on toast.

I get why you're asking, it's cheap and high quality. But this is because I keep my time safe (no meetings, no emails, no bullshit). So yeah, it's not a WordPress wankfest, not a Squarespace special, not a Wix wonder, not something you can download after three dodgy pop-ups.

It's a proper handcrafted design. I haven't coded it yet, but the layout is built with modern conversion principles for your niche. Pay the $500 and I'll code the whole thing myself so it loads fast and gets found in search, and maybe AI (ChatGPT etc.), if you're lucky!

MAAAAATE, I've done enough client meetings in my life to know. 99.9% of them are a waste of time. Sure, you can get that button in cornflower fucking blue, but who cares?! Not your prospective customers.

Let's just cut to the chase — your site is either offline, or totally broken. Let's get it back up and making you money. That's what we do, there's no point in meeting about it.

If you want meetings, go pay an agency $5,000 for a website that's going to be worse, and converts like shit. But hey, it's your money.

No. Fuck off. I want at LEAST $20 million to fix that thing up. Murray Watt, stop trying to short-change me — you've been refunded. The Bureau of Meteorology website is a crime against humanity and I'm not touching it for anything less than "set for life" money. Next!